What Does Self Care Look Like in Quarantine?

What does self care look like during social distancing and COVID-19? The pandemic triggered a host of new mental health challenges ranging from depression to anxiety to PTSD. Sickness, death of family and friends, job loss and job insecurity, and social isolation are putting stress on all our lives. Self care is now, more than ever, both necessary and increasingly difficult for more vulnerable populations. So how can we reframe the conversation around self care to better reflect the variety of challenges brought on by COVID-19?

The common perception of self care involves things like buying skin care products, taking time off work, joining yoga classes and treating yourself to vegan smoothie bowls. The image of self care has been co-opted by corporations trying to sell everything from lipstick to leggings. This image exhibits classism by making self care into a commodified lifestyle available only to those with the luxury of time and money. This has only been exacerbated by the pandemic, as those of us lucky enough to be able to take time off or work from home now have more time to participate in “self care” activities like baking and art, and then to share them on social media.

At the start of the COVID-19 pandemic, my social media feeds began to fill with people sharing what they were doing with their newly found time off school and work: getting in shape, cooking delicious organic meals and spending leisurely afternoons reading. My own Instagram account was one of these. Without the obligation of school or the necessity to work, I was left to focus on my writing, spend more time outdoors, and learn how to make sourdough bread. These posts are a privilege. Not everyone is able to practice “self care” by spending hours experimenting with sourdough starter. Many are struggling to pay their bills in an economic crisis, are essential workers putting their lives on the line for the next paycheck, are facing increased mental health challenges due to social isolation, or are coping with illness and death from COVID-19.

In light of the fact that oppressive systems in conjunction with COVID-19 are making the commodified self care lifestyle completely unattainable for the majority of our population, we need to reframe our definition of self care to mean something akin to personal survival. What self care is truly about is putting your own health (including mental health) needs first. During this pandemic, it’s especially important to prioritize your own physical health. You may still have to work, get groceries, or visit the doctor, but you can prioritize your health by following the safety guidelines set out by experts. Yes, wearing a mask will decrease the chances of you getting infected, not just others. And yes, even if you are young you can still experience short and long term effects of COVID-19. It can be difficult, however, to balance your mental health needs with the need for social distance, especially if you have existing mental health challenges.

For young people in particular, mental health can feel like the more present threat. According to an NPR article, “The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention says nearly half of people between 18 and 29 report feeling symptoms of anxiety or depression. That's significantly higher that the rate for both their parents and their grandparents. Suicide is the second leading cause of death for people under 35.” For some, social support is essential self care. With this in mind, it’s important to weigh the risks in your own life, and keep in mind what kind of contact is more high risk than others. I find this chart by the Texas Medical Association to be a useful tool.

Social support is self care, and is needed by everyone in some form. Quarantine has definitely forced us to get creative when it comes to staying connected with our friends. I’ve been texting, video calling, emailing, and writing letters. My brother voice chats with his friends as they play video games together. People in my neighborhood have been writing chalk messages and leaving painted rocks around town. I’ve exchanged baked goods on friends’ porches, received “quarantine care packages,” and visited briefly from across the lawn. I’ve had socially distant walks and bike rides, and visited with friends while sitting ten feet away in a grassy abandoned lot between our houses. This is what self care means to me.

For me, self care also means working on creative projects, spending time outside, sleeping, taking breaks from social media and the news, and getting exercise. Sometimes it’s hard for me to go for a run, or even leave the couch, so I set myself small goals. I track my steps on my phone for exercise, spend half an hour working on my writing, put my phone on “do not disturb,” and sit outside on my porch. These are the things that help me maintain my mental health, and they don’t need to involve spending unnecessary money on bath bombs and scented candles, spending hours meditating, or going to grad parties that might spread the virus.

Self care is finding out what your most pressing needs are, and then building solutions into your life in a way that works for you. For some people, their needs are earning enough money to pay the rent, for others it’s going to therapy, for others it’s taking a walk with their dog. The challenges we face are varied, and due to the oppressive systems of racism, colonialism, cisheteropatriarchy, and capitalism the ways in which we experience this pandemic are vastly unequal. That’s why we need to broaden our understanding of self care to include all of these valid forms of preservation and healing. Self care is taking care of your own physical and mental health. Self care is survival, and it’s something you get to define for yourself.